remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
