so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
