i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
