At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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