Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
there is puke in my bra ... again
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