SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
