He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
