you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
