He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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