All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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