how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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