My brain says no but my pants say off.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
