I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
