she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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