If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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