the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
