So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
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She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
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You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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