I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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