He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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