would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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