i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
