so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
