Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
