it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm just crazy horny about you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
