i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
time to smoke my breakfast
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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