last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
50% drunk capacity currently
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize