I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
