Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
