I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
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I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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