Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
