That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
