this beer tastes like vomit already
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
