My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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