I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize