omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
