Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize