i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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