I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
