remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
