I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
