i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can I color on your dick again?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
