This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
