Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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