Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
