xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
