Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
