Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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