Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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