I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
