I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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