I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
nutella sex= disaster
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up