shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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