Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
