like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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