just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
