It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
