i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Drake has all the answers
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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