why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
do nipples grow back?
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